First Cool Show of the Summer

Wednesday night, Bellsouth Park, I'm there.
Next up will be Cheap Trick in June!

*UPDATE*
The show was amazing! In terms of live performances, Dylan is only getting better in my opinion. He keeps refining his approach and right now he may just have it perfect. Dylan has now achieved a very strong, aggressive rock/blues/folk mixture that really infuses his songs with power and an unbeatable groove. The only comparison is to his period with The Band backing him up, but this is more guitar-orientated. Speaking of his new band, well, they're hand-picked from some of the hottest players around, and they fucking smoked Bell South Park. Even the most yokel local had to realize they were being treated to some world-class entertainment. This was no washed-up, no-hit wonder from the 80s like we usually get around here. And to top it off, it was literally pouring down raining, and nobody even left. We all just stood there getting drenched listening to Dylan pound the keyboard (he did not play guitar) and sing in a strangled, blues croak that may still be hard for some to take but is expressive as shit.
If he's coming to your ballpark this summer(I know Nollf and Rob will be there) don't miss it. I don't care if you've seen him a million times. It's the best show of the damn summer!

Tennessee Pride!

It's depressing really.

Buggery Shmuggery

How can you not trust a face like this? I just love animals. Everyone knows that. I didn't hurt anyone. I just want to see Killer one more time. His fur is so soft. He's really very cute. We have unfinished business.
Signed,
A Dog Lover

Give Piece A Chance

New York, New York
In a startling and unexpected move, James Hetfield, guitarist-singer of the band Metallica, announced today his recent engagement to avant-garde artist, dilettante, and millionaire Yoko Ono.
Hetfield was quoted as saying, "I've never been so happy in my whole life. Now I have a place to put my hand!"
The blushing bride-to-be responded with a heartfelt, "Aiiiiiooookkookooooaiiii!"

Once Upon A Time...Screamers

Last night I was treated to a DVD featuring one of the great lost bands of punk rock. Fucking silly, wildness is my best description of this band which featured no guitars and one of punk's funkiest, weirdest singers, Tomata Du Plenty who would flail around the stage in between staring at the audience with a look on his face somewhere between hate and retardation. As my pal J.J. put it, "these guys work up quite a head of steam for a couple of fags with keyboards." Yes, Screamers' various backgrounds included artsy performance-orientated works, dragshows, and stand-up comedy, but none of this really informs the Screamers' music. And those keyboards were run through fuzzboxes so they wind up sounding just like overamped guitars.
I don't know what the fuck was going on with this band, but they were very aggressive and very silly at the same time. Their lyrics are paranoid, obsessed with media, and confrontational. "If I Can't Have What I Want, Then I Don't Want Anything!" Well worth hunting down this DVD, though. Check out their story here.

What the Hell!

I found this thing out in the yard this morning. I guess my cat killed it.
Nah, not really. It's just something I found on this weird site.

Ahh...Ain't He Cute?

Secret lives revealed are often shocking, yes?
What I like about this picture is that someone is bound to get really pissed off about it. Well, be my guest. It's way too easy to bait some people.

He's Gone Now

“Hasil’s up in his holler hunchin’ them Boone County Blues.”

I Want to Thank You, Ladies and Gentlemen...

Where, indeed, has everyone been?
Sometimes I think that we forget how random our lives are and we actually believe we have any control whatsoever.
If not change, then what? You? Now?
Not past next tuesday, buddy.
While the lamp is busted, don't think too hard
She'll turn up one day and
We could have us a high time.

Okay Hard Rockers...Let's Rock Hard!

The Hard Rockers recently rocked so hard that all other bands are pretty much afraid
to even attempt to rock.

HR rocked the bedroom,

the bathroom,

and finally took the rock all the way into the living room where the rock just kept getting harder. Congratulations Hard Rockers, you rocked so hard my face melted.

Caught With the Meat in Your Mouth

Parents, teachers, religious leaders, and now lawmakers, are paying close attention to what has grown into a frightening new craze for Texas teenagers. It's called "wilding" by area psychologists, and its described as a form of reckless bonding akin to closeted homosexual behavior.
Local teen Eric Neusbomb's father calls it "queer-ass bullshit."
"My son," says an irate Ted Neusbomb, "Is no faggot! But this shit is way out of line!"
Eric and his friends (pictured above) call their odd practice the "chain-fuck."
"It's like this shorty, first we line up in one direction and grab each other's bozacks 'til a nut is busted, then we swing around the opposite way for the second nut. That way all my bro-bros get covered."

Beaumont, Texas assistant D.A. Dan Brownlick insists that "all this foolishness" will soon stop. "We're passing an ordinance through city council that will prohibit this so-called wilding. Any parent who suspects their children of indulging in this perversion, and it is perverted, can bring their kids to the county lock-up for a week-end long boot camp-like seminar in proper sexual behavior. We feel that by locking these miscreants in with a bunch of other similar types will be just the ticket. We are calling it the Lock-In for Fun Weekend, and we'll be giving away prizes and awards for kids who show cooperation."

Eric and his friends also perform in a local teen band called 4 Second Orgasm Kings who can be seen this Saturday at the Our Sister's of Charity Spring Fling. Eric says of the event, "We're gonna be shreddin' that mofo if my dad un-grounds me!"