How Can This Happen in a Just World?
The United States suffered a devastating blow to its national morale Thursday when possibly the most important person in the universe was given the raspberry by smelly Europeans.
America is shocked, horrified, and, above all, humiliated, over the treatment national treasure Oprah Winfrey and her entourage suffered when they were denied entrance to a handbag shop by some snooty French shopkeepers.
"I can't believe it!" says Oprah. "I am not some ignorant country negro up in here trying to steal some damn earrings!"
The human race's savior and all-around good guy Tom Cruise is blow away as well.
"The French are just jerks...jerks...I mean those people are really jerks...they are jerks...unbelievable jerks! And let me just add that Brooke Shields, God bless her, hasn't had a really good role since Endless Love, think about that why don't you!"
Oprah protege Dr. Phil also knows firsthand the pain of dealing with French retailers
It makes a person wonder if God could truly exist when such horrendous acts of inhumanity can occur.
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