FUCKER!!!!!

I'm sorry. After the November election, I vowed to change the direction of this blog and not directly engage the enemy. However, last night President Bush tried to rescue his failed Iraq policy in a nationally televised address by connecting the Iraq war to the war on terror. He is trying to change the subject from Iraq to terrorism and September 11—implying that Iraq attacked us in 2001. I'm just hoping that common sense Americans are not buying into this shit. Well?

Whoa...This is not What it Looks Like!

As long as I'm on the subject of breakfast:
take a peek at the Cybernetic Parrot Sausage

Eggagog

This has got to be one of the weirdest blogs on the web. Thompat, one of the craziest fuckers I know, states quite frankly "I don't know what to make of it!"
Is it for real? Is it a symptom of one deranged man's mental illness? Does it even matter? Because, in some really bizarre way, it's fascinating. Check out the doings of the creeps, the super mop-tops, the spagetti sauces, and King Winkles.

Darth Cruise

Tom Cruise has added to his illustrious resume a new expertise: SITH LORD!!!
tom_cruise_kills_oprah.mov

More Bad Taste

How Can This Happen in a Just World?

The United States suffered a devastating blow to its national morale Thursday when possibly the most important person in the universe was given the raspberry by smelly Europeans.
America is shocked, horrified, and, above all, humiliated, over the treatment national treasure Oprah Winfrey and her entourage suffered when they were denied entrance to a handbag shop by some snooty French shopkeepers.
"I can't believe it!" says Oprah. "I am not some ignorant country negro up in here trying to steal some damn earrings!"

The human race's savior and all-around good guy Tom Cruise is blow away as well.
"The French are just jerks...jerks...I mean those people are really jerks...they are jerks...unbelievable jerks! And let me just add that Brooke Shields, God bless her, hasn't had a really good role since Endless Love, think about that why don't you!"
Oprah protege Dr. Phil also knows firsthand the pain of dealing with French retailers

It makes a person wonder if God could truly exist when such horrendous acts of inhumanity can occur.

Bush Supporters Tell it Like it Is!

It's a Miracle!

Hello There Ladies and Gentlemen...

Tonight Cheap Trick come to town and make our generally stupid Riverbend Festival (Trace Adkins, Big and Rich, Kid Rock? This town is very redneck!) worth actually attending.

UPDATE

Cheap Trick did not fail to impress Friday night at the River Bend Festival. In fact, double kudos go out to Robin Zander and crew as they succeeded in pissing off Colin Hay who was just wrapping up a miserable set of shitty Men At Work psuedo-hits on a smaller stage across from the larger Coca-Cola stage where Cheap Trick began blasting their power-pop, teen suicide anthems at stun volume.
Cheap Trick performed a great selection from all the best eras of the band's admittedly roller coaster career: "Big Eyes," "California Man," "Surrender," "Dream Police," "Voices," and even Tom Peterson's vocal turn on "I Know What I Want (and I Know How to Get It," and more. Excellent stuff!

Sssh! Your Sister's Comin'

Evidently, Jessica is the coolest girl in the world. She's like your older sister/brother who could do no wrong while you languished in stupidity doomed to pale in comparison. Did I say that out loud? I love my sister, really.

Hidden Genius

"I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into Cartilage."

"I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."

"I like the British bikes. I like British people. They're real mellow."

"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."

"I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. So every now and then I kick your f**king ass."

"I just want to conquer people and their souls."

Mannequin Shenanigans (i know they're not mannequins)

Look, they make the perfect pair. Two blockheads!

Holy shit! This dummy looks retarded!

What's with this Jesus shit?

HMMM...

Prophet Yahweh Sayz...

Watch the skies mofos! Prophet Yahweh is bringing UFOs to Las Vegas this summer (who'll notice?) Check out the funny business at UFODIGEST. (Thanks Thompat)